Peaches Update: Death from Heroin OD

This is a follow up post to an earlier post on the tragic death of Peaches Geldof at age 25 with her young child next to her. I had played celebrity death sleuth but was incorrect in my assessment.

Legacy of addiction gets handed down like family estates and jewelry. Her mother overdosed at age 41 with a child at her side, and our Peaches recreates the scene 14 years later, except she was only 25.

Do we all become our parents? I think not.
Are we helpless to go on repeating the past, whether it is an addiction or a pattern of thinking and behaving?

This is why therapy needs to be part of every recovery process. Addiction isn't just the physical and psychological dependence. There exists a core conflict, our defining wound which originates in childhood. The resulting pain, whether psychological or spiritual or both, is what we attempt to dull with our substance(s) of choice.

Through therapy and/or spiritual reflection, we can become more aware, more in tune with our subconscious, so that we are less likely to act out, or behave unconsciously, and repeat what we know or become the parents whom we feel let us down.

http://www.thefix.com/content/peaches-geldof-reportedly-died-heroin-overdose

David Foster Wallace on Meaning of Life or How to Think

Waking up on this beautiful spring morning I wanted to share this with my readers (and my clients). Listen for his emphasis on "the default settings" of the self, which "make us automatically think that we are the center of the world." Becoming aware, or tending to our awareness is the escape key from this default setting. Sounds like mindfulness practice to me.

I also love how he defines true freedom: ". . . attention, and awareness, and discipline and being able truly to care about other people and sacrifice for them over and over, in myriad, heady little unsexy ways. That is real freedom."

This is just one part of the talk, for the other half please follow the link.


Here is a meaty quote to ponder from the commencement speech delivered at Kenyon college in 2005.

"If you worship money and things — if they are where you tap real meaning in life — then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already — it’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up-front in daily consciousness. Worship power — you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart — you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. And so on."

I can't close a piece on DFW without mentioning his suicide. I don't have much to say at present other than again raise the connection between creative people and mental illness. BTW, one piece of fact I do know is that he hung himself as he was trying to wean off psychiatric medications he had been taking for many years for depression.

FYI: April Is the Cruelst Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month

I. THE BURIAL OF THE DEAD

APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

excerpt from T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land

Yes, in case you didn't hear, April is child abuse prevention month. The connection between the poem and government-sponsored, PSA-worthy month which goes unnoticed is beyond tenuous. But child abuse is cruel as it makes lasting negative impact for the rest of that child's life, I make no apologies for quoting T.S. Eliot.

As a social worker I am a mandated reporter, which means by state law I have to report to ACS (Administration for Children's Services) suspected cases of child physical, neglect or sexual abuse. Teachers, doctors, psychologists, nurses, police, EMS are also mandated reporters. I am sure I am forgetting a few professions.

Physical and sexual abuse is easy to define and comprehensible by non-professionals. Neglect, however, is a bit more difficult to define. It can mean abandonment — leaving children under the age of 12 unattended, using drugs around minors (cannabis excluded), not having food in the home, children missing school and providing inadequate medical care. Since I am listing them from memory I am sure it's incomplete. Child neglect/emotional abuse is difficult to assess, but it can damage just as much as other forms of abuse.

Working with children can be one of the most rewarding/heart-breaking experiences. Most children end up in therapy due to "benign neglect; their parents (in my case single mothers) simply lack the energy (depression, poverty) or their attention have been compromised by their own needs (boyfriend, job) to be fully emotionally present with their kids (or to provide good-enough parenting). But children are amazingly resilient, and like the way plants forgotten in the corner become revitalized with regular watering and sunlight, children respond to undivided attention and adult presence.

On a couple of occasions, children who were actively being abused were put under my watch. And making that report was heart wrenching knowing what I know about the overburdened system. It felt like I was handing a child over to a barely functioning bureaucracy with my fingers crossed, hoping their welfare didn't deteriorate.

For a brief overview on the lasting impact of childhood trauma, go here.

NCA PSA 2013 "Stand Up, Step Forward" from Ian Buchanan on Vimeo.

Importance of Sleep

http://www.animal-ethics.org/sentience-section/

Whenever I see a new client, I always review their sleep pattern. Quality and length of sleep is indicative of general mental health. Inability to have a good night's rest indicates anxiety, which tends to be a close companion of depression. Depression can make one sleep too much or too little; and it can make one eat too little or too much. (Here is a very moving talk on depression.)

Below is a small set of questions I ask my clients at the start of therapy and periodically thereafter to monitor their overall mental health.

• Are you able to fall asleep within a reasonable amount of time?
• Are you able sleep through the night or do you wake up in the middle of the night and find yourself unable to fall back to sleep?
• Do you require alcohol or other depressants like marijuana to become "sleepy"?
• Do you wake up early morning but not able fall back asleep right away, only to fall asleep after a period and then wake up later than planned?
• Do disturbing dreams or nightmares regularly wake you up?
• Do you regularly get less than 6 hours of sleep a night?
• Do you "catch up" on the weekends?
• Do you experience sleep apnea?

Most adults require at minimum 6 hours and at optimum 8 hours of sleep a night. Younger adults require more sleep than older people. It's a myth that you can catch up on sleep. What's actually happening is that your body is resting for a longer period than normal, but sleep itself cannot be made up.

Here are some suggestions to help you re-regulate your sleep to a more healthier routine to help you feel recharged.

• Make the room as dark as possible. An eye mask can do the trick, as well as ear plugs.
• A cooler room is better for sleeping. We all know how it's hard it is to sleep in the middle of a heat wave.
• Remove or cover your clock, or smartphone. Being conscious of time can worsen insomnia. Being a clock watcher during the night can increase anxiety. Even a small amount of light from an alarm clock can affect the production of melatonin, an enzyme released by the pineal gland in the brain that regulates your circadian rhythm, or your natural sleep cycle.
• Keep the bedroom for sleeping, or for sex: Don’t work, use your computer or watch TV in bed, at least not right before going to sleep. (Personally, reading in bed during an off day is one of the greatest luxuries.)
• Stay away from all electronic devices before sleep. We all know why. 
• Stick to a routine: Human bodies work better on a schedule, so try and unwind an hour or two before bed and go to sleep at around the same time each night. We get our best sleep between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., so don’t stay up late.
• Have a spoonful of honey before bedtime. 
• From Tim Ferris: Eat a small snack of celery with almond or peanut butter. He will give you scientific reasons why it works, along with other super high-tech, downright odd hints about getting optimum sleep.
• Take a hot bath or shower. (Tim Ferris suggests a cold bath before bed.) Lavender oil in the water and on your temples will help you relax.
• Journaling before sleep will help you clear your mind and set the agenda for the next day. My suggestions to clients: What 3 things went right today? Or, you can write in a gratitude journal. 
• Make a list for the morning, important things that need your attention right away. If you are anxious about something you have to wake up for, make a check off list and check off everything on that list, so your mind can shut off.

Before reaching for Tylenol PM, or asking your doctor for Ambien or another prescription sleeping pill, try chamomile tea with honey, valerian tea with lots of honey (valerian stinks but is a mild sedative), or melatonin (essential for business travelers). Melatonin is available at drug stores and is a nutritional supplement.

One of the greatest sleep aid is strenuous exercise like running. In addition to promoting good sleep, great skin turns out to be another benefit from running.

Mortality

Whenever I feel indignation, this brings me back to reality.

Hitchens wrote this just days before dying from cancer.