Nymph()maniac Volume 1: Love Is Lust with Jealousy

I really enjoyed this film and looking forward to volume 2. It’s definitely a film, not a movie. There is depiction of sex (simulated and real) with lots of frontal nudity. Sex doubles were used for penetrative sex, as stated in the end credits, to distinguish it from pornography. I think maybe it's because for many people images of naked bodies engaged in sex, independent of director's intentions, will get aroused. Pornography is intended to arouse, but films are not. But, we all know how men love to "read" Victoria’s Secret catalog.

I am not sure what Volume 2 has in store, but I think Lars Von Trier, who is Danish, is looking at sex from a philosophical point of view, as in what it can represent to different people and its many functions, and how it relates to pleasure and pain.

SPOILER ALERT!

Joe, the nymphomaniac, shares/confesses her sexual history to Seligman, an innocent, asexual (so far), rescuer/listener. His passion is fly-fishing and at first likens her compulsive sexual behavior to fishing: studying the environment, learning the behavior of the fish, baiting, hooking and finally catching the prize.

However, as her exploits become more compulsive, he becomes concerned about her her lack of ethics. Joe either ignores or doesn’t care that her sexual compulsions are hurting others, and she constantly lies. Not surprisingly, Joe’s alienation grows in proportion to the frequency of sexual encounters. Like addicts addicted to drugs and alcohol, Joe engages in addictive behaviors to not feel (to stuff her feelings), but over time she needs more and more to maintain feeling "normal."

Joe's best friend/partner in fishing for sex leaves her after falling in love and tells Joe that the secret ingredient to sex is love. In response, Joe says love is just lust with jealousy. But when she does fall in love and finds that love indeed improves sex, she is horrified to discover that she can’t FEEL anything, including love or sexual pleasure.

An aside which I find really interesting: The word nymphomaniac came about in the 18th century and is specific to women. Its counterpart for men is satyriasis, and both words mean abnormal or deviant craving for sex.

The word nymphomania has two roots. Seligman connected nymphomania to the nymph (immature insect) used in fishing. This meaning originates from Greek mythology — nymph is a beautiful young female wood sprite. But the Latinate nymphae refers to the the inner labia of the vagina, and the definition of mania is obvious. Clearly, Joe sees herself as a nymphomaniac in the Latin sense.

Interestingly, Von Trier alludes to electra complex by portraying the mother as emotionally cold and distant. Her father at death’s throes calls for her mother even though it was Joe who had been at his side. The mother appears only after the death and leaves the corpse of her husband without so much a word to Joe. The conflict is too neat; mothers have been blamed for all kinds of neurosis since the invention of psychology. I think a more realistic or nuanced way to explain development of mental illness (including addiction) is inadequate attachment and lack of love. And it's not necessarily just about the parents, it's about the environment as a whole. But I do agree that it is always about the childhood. 

Sex addiction and recovery: Thanks for Sharing

Here is a link to a really thoughtful piece/film review by Robert Weiss MSW on Thanks for Sharing. http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3982933

The movie was released a few months ago and it stars big name actors. I didn't think twice about it but reading the review made me want to see it.

I am interested in addiction to sex even though it's outside my training and professional expertise, because it can and does overlap with other addictions. The movie is also about recovery and the culture (hence its title) of 12 step programs (AA being the grand daddy), an essential part of addiction treatment and maintainence of sobriety.

Couple of points the wise Mr. Weiss wrote stood out for me, and I am going to paraphrase them: he said alcohol, food, sex, drugs and the like are used to fill the "primitive need to self medicate." Also, he said treatment and recovery from any type of addictions does not happen in isolation. Human connection is a necessary ingredient in healing.

More on these two points in future blog entries. 

Again, here is the link: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3982933

Sort of a Film Review: Silver Linings Playbook

http://www.kentuckytheater.com

Initially, I was skeptical about Silver Linings Playbook, but it disabused me of the misconception that all rom-coms are silly affairs in which an attractive young woman and man fall in love after overcoming a series of obstacles. SLP, like other movies of the genre, shows us that the quest for love is universal. Its two protagonists, played by Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, are very pretty, as you would expect. I had dismissed Bradley Cooper as an exceptionally good-looking comic actor, and I wasn't familiar with Jennifer Lawrence. However, she won me over as the wounded yet feisty and self-aware young woman; I found her character so intriguing I forgave her being so young, talented and beautiful. And, I gained an appreciation for Bradley Cooper as a man with bipolar disorder just released from a long stay in a psychiatric hospital. His performance did not embarrass; he didn’t simply play “crazy.” Instead, he played a man whose capacity for suffering emotional pain was monumentally greater than most people’s because of the illness. 

As a mental health professional, I appreciated how the film treated mental illness with depth, humour and fairness; I am hoping that it can lift the some of the stigma that keeps people from accessing mental health services. 

These are some of the reasons why I recommend Silver Linings Playbook:

1. By no means should Cooper’s character be mistaken for a clinical case study of bipolar disorder, but it portrayed BD's main features in a believable way. Also, his father's (played by Robert DeNiro) compulsive and superstitious dependence on numbers was a lighthearted look at OCD-like behavior, perhaps to suggest that predisposition to mental illness can be hereditary. 

2. The movie shows that character's bizarre behavior of Bradley Cooper's character did not come about in a vacuum (it's important to note that he did not have delusions or hallucinations, symptoms of psychosis). The distress of catching his wife with another man had triggered his hypersensitivity to a full-blown episode of mania and depression (although we did not see his depressive symptoms). His reaction went above and beyond the "functional range" of emotional response, and, as a result, he was hospitalized. Symptoms of mental illness, especially mood disorders, are extreme (pathological) reactions to life’s inevitable ups and downs, and they are disruptive and upsetting to the sufferer and their family and friends. But, the point is that everyone of us have experienced these symptoms to some degree, because this is what it means to be human. 

3. Medication works. It does not “cure” but, under the care of an able psychiatrist, it can manage and control the symptoms and improve the quality of life for the patient and their family. It enables the patient to work, be in relationships and seek talk therapy to complement the pharmacotherapy, which only addresses brain chemistry. The most effective treatment for mental illness is drug therapy with concurrent psychotherapy. 

4. People diagnosed with mental illness have unique personalities and real lives, and they are capable of great achievements. They are more than their symptoms or diagnosis. One can LIVE with mental illness.

5. Mental health professionals are real people. We have real lives that are sometime messy and have interests outside work that may seem incongruent with what we do professionally. However, I am not a fanatical fan of any sports team.

Sort of a Film Review: Flight

As you may already know the awards season has begun. Usually I am just an avid watcher and not a reviewer, but this year a couple of movies caught my attention, and I thought they related to what I am trying to do here. Here is my two cents on Flight.

Denzel Washington has been nominated for an Oscar for best actor for Flight directed by Robert Zemeckis. Washington's character, Whip Whitaker, is a commercial jet pilot and a functioning alcoholic. Did I get your attention yet? Just the premise alone is compelling! Predictably, things fall apart (literally, in the sky) for our anti-hero – there wouldn’t be a movie otherwise – and the reality of his addiction unfolds in a nightmarish scenario. For this reason, you won’t be seeing Flight as an in-flight entertainment option. The fatal crash/accident is part one of Whip’s hitting bottom, and the second part… Let’s just say there is a Hollywood ending, and he is redeemed.

What is interesting is the portrayal of addiction with its near limitless potential for denial. Even after a broken marriage, loss of his son’s love and respect because of his drinking, and the resulting social isolation (his only friend it seems is his drug dealer), Whip is so blinded by alcoholism’s cycle of shame, guilt and physical dependence, he can’t and won’t see what it has done to him. Unresolved shame and guilt lead to continued use because chemically altering the brain is the easiest way to avoid the painful act of self-reflection. The medicine that numbs uncomfortable thoughts and feelings also happens to be the source of discontent. As it is said there is no free lunch, one way or another there is a price to pay for delaying what is inevitable. To feel at ease with life requires that we take a long, hard look at who we are and come to terms with it, or make changes so that we can live with ourselves. For many who are caught in alcohol and drugs’ dark embrace, until something dramatic happens where they are forced to, they can’t listen or look at themselves. 

What is the lesson from Flight? Listen to yourself and watch for how you feel. Are you unhappy? Are you sad? Are you lonely? Are you tormented by feelings of shame and guilt because of your out-of-control drinking and/or drug use? If you feel that you are partying a bit too much, do something about it, talk to friends or family members, or a professional, before it takes off on its own dangerous course.