By now everyone
has read and heard about this thing called mindfulness. If you believe the hype
it can help you eat less, become nicer, smarter, more relaxed and less
stressed. Sounds good, doesn’t it? So, what is it and what’s the catch?
It's difficult to write about it because how do you describe a state of consciousness without sounding hokey? But I hope that the following will pique your interest enough to look into it for yourself.
First,
let’s look at what it is.
1. Mindfulness is a state of
mind we aspire to. It is a meditative state through which we can experience
passage of time fully awake and conscious. It is being aware of your senses as you go about life in the here and now. The
intention is to center your attention through your physical self and less from
your inner, thinking self. Brain is part of the body
and so whatever feelings and thoughts that arise throughout the day, they can be experienced for what it is in the present. You can be mindful and enjoy
food, feel close to your friends, have a deep a conversation and feel and
emotionally connected — meaning, any activity can be experienced mindfully.
2. Regular practice of meditation
will make it easier to connect to the mindful state. It’s like running, the
more you run, easier running becomes.
3. It’s paying attention to the
“thing” which you are doing, whether you are engaged in deep, meditative
breathing, walking your dog around the park, washing dishes, reading, listening
to music, or having sex.
4. It’s noticing the chatter that
fills your head. When you become more mindful, you will notice many thoughts, memories and feelings come
to your awareness; mindfulness is not letting your attention fall on them and
letting them take you into the past or the future. Think of it this way: You are
walking down the street with a destination in mind, and you run into people you know. You say hello and
greet them pleasantly, but do not stop and get into conversations, because you are headed somewhere else.
5. Mindfulness is
understanding that the chatter — inner voices, negative self talk, flashbacks, cravings,
obsessions — is the source of our anxiety and depression. I don’t mean to say
anxiety and depression will cease to happen or that it shouldn’t happen, but that we can quiet the chatter which is responsible for unnecessary anxiety and depression.
And, what
it isn’t:
1. Mindfulness isn’t being
distracted. Everyone experiences the discomfort of doing something or being
with someone without being fully present. Your inner self is elsewhere,
thinking or feeling something not in the present. It feels as if you are holding
two conversations or doing two things simultaneously, which is exhausting. Focusing
on what you are doing will actually enrich your experience.
2. Ignoring physical states:
if you are hungry, eat something; if you are tired, take a break or nap; if you
are angry, talk or write about it; if you are lonely, reach out for a connection,
whatever that may look like; if you are in pain, physical or emotional, do
something to lessen or stop the pain. The idea is that we can’t tune in with
the here now if these primary needs go unmet. It’s like trying to operate a car
that has no gas or has a major mechanical problem. In order for you to function optimally, you need to take care of your self.
3. Giving up because you can’t
“get mindfulness right.” Perfection, or in this case being completely attuned to
the present, is something we aspire to; it motivates and gives direction but perfect mindfulness is not possible. Go easy when you find yourself distracted, gently
redirect your attention back to the here and now and the task before you.
Here is a link to a guided meditation which is a very good introduction to meditation, and it will actually help you relax!
