Showing posts with label Sexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexuality. Show all posts

Monday, March 31, 2014

Nymph()maniac Volume 1: Love Is Lust with Jealousy



I really enjoyed this film and looking forward to volume 2. It’s definitely a film, not a movie. There is depiction of sex (simulated and real) with lots of frontal nudity. Sex doubles were used for penetrative sex, as stated in the end credits, to distinguish it from pornography. I think maybe it's because for many people images of naked bodies engaged in sex, independent of director's intentions, will get aroused. Pornography is intended to arouse, but films are not. But, we all know how men love to "read" Victoria’s Secret catalog.

I am not sure what Volume 2 has in store, but I think Lars Von Trier, who is Danish, is looking at sex from a philosophical point of view, as in what it can represent to different people and its many functions, and how it relates to pleasure and pain.

SPOILER ALERT!
Joe, the nymphomaniac, shares/confesses her sexual history to Seligman, an innocent, asexual (so far), rescuer/listener. His passion is fly-fishing and at first likens her compulsive sexual behavior to fishing: studying the environment, learning the behavior of the fish, baiting, hooking and finally catching the prize.

However, as her exploits become more compulsive, he becomes concerned about her her lack of ethics. Joe either ignores or doesn’t care that her sexual compulsions are hurting others, and she constantly lies. Not surprisingly, Joe’s alienation grows in proportion to the frequency of sexual encounters. Like addicts addicted to drugs and alcohol, Joe engages in addictive behaviors to not feel (to stuff her feelings), but over time she needs more and more to maintain feeling "normal."

Joe's best friend/partner in fishing for sex leaves her after falling in love and tells Joe that the secret ingredient to sex is love. In response, Joe says love is just lust with jealousy. But when she does fall in love and finds that love indeed improves sex, she is horrified to discover that she can’t FEEL anything, including love or sexual pleasure.

An aside which I find really interesting: The word nymphomaniac came about in the 18th century and is specific to women. Its counterpart for men is satyriasis, and both words mean abnormal or deviant craving for sex.

The word nymphomania has two roots. Seligman connected nymphomania to the nymph (immature insect) used in fishing. This meaning originates from Greek mythology — nymph is a beautiful young female wood sprite. But the Latinate nymphae refers to the the inner labia of the vagina, and the definition of mania is obvious. Clearly, Joe sees herself as a nymphomaniac in the Latin sense.

Interestingly, Von Trier alludes to electra complex by portraying the mother as emotionally cold and distant. Her father at death’s throes calls for her mother even though it was Joe who had been at his side. The mother appears only after the death and leaves the corpse of her husband without so much a word to Joe. The conflict is too neat; mothers have been blamed for all kinds of neurosis since the invention of psychology. I think a more realistic or nuanced way to explain development of mental illness (including addiction) is inadequate attachment and lack of love. And it's not necessarily just about the parents, it's about the environment as a whole. But I do agree that it is always about the childhood. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Love

Rather than roses, chocolates and glittering jewels, I’d like to discuss, today being Valentine’s Day, the other side of contemporary dating life: blisters, warts, shame and embarrassment. In a culture that glamorizes sexuality at every opportunity, the unpleasant outcomes of active sexuality do not receive the necessary attention it deserves. Sexually transmitted diseases (STD) and infections (STI), which are solely medical conditions, suggest promiscuity, immorality, uncleanness and other equally unsavory connotations. Because of these culturally objectionable associations, many people newly diagnosed with a STI or STD, confine it to themselves after a hasty conversation with their doctor. And, of course, there is the Internet, the vast public forum for both pertinent medical information, and misinformation and opinions that perpetuate the stigma around sexual illness and sexuality. 

Shame and guilt, when not named and brought out to air, fester and gain momentum and significance. Repression and denial may be effective for a short time, but, eventually, the emotional impact requires processing; otherwise, the original shame and guilt will seep into other parts of life. As difficult as it may seem, what it means to have a STD or STI needs to be talked about. Exploring your feelings now will be better for your emotional and physical health in the long run. You can talk about it with someone in your life who is nonjudgmental, mature and caring, such as a close friend, parents, confidant, partner or a therapist. In addition, it is also very important to understand it from the medical perspective; this is necessary to protect your health in the future.


This topic brings up so many issues, I will make sure to write more on this very soon. 

Thank you for reading.