16 Danger Signs of Relapse

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This list is from an excellent Facebook post. Even though the list seems it's from AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) for AA members, I think we can all benefit from this list even if we are not struggling with a severe addiction. I feel addicted can also mean we compulsively repeat certain patterns of behavior based on a set of beliefs, which can hold us back from growth.

For those of you who say you are "allergic" to the AA model,  go ahead and read the list and replace AA, sponsor, meetings with family, friend, get together, etc...

Relapse can mean returning to an old behavior which you attempted to change or correct. Or it can mean actual addiction to alcohol and drugs.

Basically, be present and be mindful of what's going on in yourself.

DANGER SIGNS OF RELAPSE

1. Exhaustion — Allowing oneself to become overly tired; usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.

2. Dishonesty — Begins with pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.

3. Impatience — I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right. Instant gratification is a monster that needs to be tamed.

4. Argumentativeness — No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.

5. Depression  — All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?

6. Frustration  — Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. Lack of acceptance. See #3. Being a baby.

7. Self-pity — Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated, disrespected: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.

8. Cockiness — Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang-out at bars, boozy parties or an other potentially complicated setting where the addiction monster may get tempted.

9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, meetings, contact with other(s) alcoholics, (especially sponsor!), feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!

10. Expecting too much of others — Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.

11. Letting up on disciplines — Allowing established habits of recovery - meditations, prayer, spiritual reading, emotional support system or AA contact, daily inventory, meetings or getting together with a pal — to slip out of our routines; allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?!

12. Using mood-altering chemicals — May have a valid medical reason, but misused to help avoid the real problems of impending alcoholic, drug or a behavioral addiction relapse.

13. Wanting too much — Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.

14. Forgetting gratitude — Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives: too focused on # 13.

15. "It can't happen to me." — Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the disease of addiction, including alcoholism and its progressive nature.

16. Omnipotence — A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members or emotional support network.

Watch Now! Russell Brand: From Addiction to Recovery

Russell Brand is one celebrity who is pretty cool. This isn't the first time I've written about him. I can respect him because he uses his fame to bring attention to the problem of addiction and benefits of meditation and yoga.

So I was happy to discover that after Amy Winehouse’s death from alcohol withdrawal, Brand made a short documentary with BBC about addiction and recovery. And The Guardian published a moving eulogy he wrote for her.

Discovering this short doc (about an hour long) several years late does not diminish its significance. Brand discusses with experts about opiate replacement therapy. At times, he can be overbearing and appears fixated on his recovery process. However, Brand’s narcissism is tolerable, because he argues that for addicts like himself it's abstinence or death.

He argues against methadone saying it’s an opiate replacing heroin, which means that the addict is not drug free, and an addict wiI am certain he would criticize Suboxone since it too is a synthetic opiate prescribed to curb cravings and withdrawal symptoms, just like methadone. The difference is that Suboxone is prescribed by a psychiatrist, as opposed to daily pick ups at a methadone clinic, so it no longer carries the stigma of having to drop in every morning at your local MMTP (Methadone Maintenance Treatment Program).

An addict, Brand stresses, must be free of all drugs, although whether he includes psychotropic medications, it’s unclear. Both AA and NA agree with Brand; and they consider prescription medications as drugs. Therefore, an AA member who is prescribed medication, for say depression and anxiety, is not drug free or abstinent. I find problem with this, because so many people struggling with substance abuse suffer from underlying mental illness. 

What are your thoughts?

Russell Brand on Spiritual Practice

I don't know about you but Russell Brand is difficult to ignore. He has certainly made most intimate aspects of his life public: short lived marriage to a pop star; addiction to drugs and alcohol followed by recovery. He has made a name for himself as a passionate advocate of yoga and meditation. I respect him for making statements on subjects that make people and corporations very uncomfortable. But let's not forget he is a comedian and it's their job to make us feel hot under the collar, but he does a particularly great job at it.

I am featuring the short video above, actually a compilation of clips, which showcase his view on spirituality, addiction, culture, etc... And I have to say I like what he says and how he says it. The intensity of the delivery reveals the zeal with which he once consumed alcohol, drugs and sex. It is to our benefit that he has found another outlet to sublimate or redirect his energy. And so is he. In fact, as any addict in recovery will tell you, he probably wouldn't be alive to tell it how it really is.

One more thing, addiction takes time, energy, money and effort. Which begs the question, what are you going to do instead of abusing alcohol and drugs? How are you going to fill the time which was once devoted to getting high and drunk? For many, as is the case for Mr. Brand, a spiritual practice fills that void.

Peaches Update: Death from Heroin OD

This is a follow up post to an earlier post on the tragic death of Peaches Geldof at age 25 with her young child next to her. I had played celebrity death sleuth but was incorrect in my assessment.

Legacy of addiction gets handed down like family estates and jewelry. Her mother overdosed at age 41 with a child at her side, and our Peaches recreates the scene 14 years later, except she was only 25.

Do we all become our parents? I think not.
Are we helpless to go on repeating the past, whether it is an addiction or a pattern of thinking and behaving?

This is why therapy needs to be part of every recovery process. Addiction isn't just the physical and psychological dependence. There exists a core conflict, our defining wound which originates in childhood. The resulting pain, whether psychological or spiritual or both, is what we attempt to dull with our substance(s) of choice.

Through therapy and/or spiritual reflection, we can become more aware, more in tune with our subconscious, so that we are less likely to act out, or behave unconsciously, and repeat what we know or become the parents whom we feel let us down.

http://www.thefix.com/content/peaches-geldof-reportedly-died-heroin-overdose

Sex addiction and recovery: Thanks for Sharing

Here is a link to a really thoughtful piece/film review by Robert Weiss MSW on Thanks for Sharing. http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3982933

The movie was released a few months ago and it stars big name actors. I didn't think twice about it but reading the review made me want to see it.

I am interested in addiction to sex even though it's outside my training and professional expertise, because it can and does overlap with other addictions. The movie is also about recovery and the culture (hence its title) of 12 step programs (AA being the grand daddy), an essential part of addiction treatment and maintainence of sobriety.

Couple of points the wise Mr. Weiss wrote stood out for me, and I am going to paraphrase them: he said alcohol, food, sex, drugs and the like are used to fill the "primitive need to self medicate." Also, he said treatment and recovery from any type of addictions does not happen in isolation. Human connection is a necessary ingredient in healing.

More on these two points in future blog entries. 

Again, here is the link: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3982933

Addiction, Depression and Antidepressants

I read with great interest this piece on The Fix called The Dumbest Article You'll See About Addiction, and that's about right. The writer, Maia Szalavitz, is responding to a criticism of her original piece, in which she shares how Zoloft had saved her from a deep depression after kicking a serious heroin and cocaine habit she picked up during college. Twenty years later, while still prescribed Zoloft, she describes how it dramatically improved her mood and the way she responded to the world (depressed people, she says, tend to misread other people's facial expressions), that she has had a successful writing career and a very satisfying life. 

The second writer, critiquing on Slate, says that Szalvitz merely replaced one addiction with another, and asks the astoundingly naive question why we are easier on pill poppers than alcoholics. It's difficult to believe that her editor or anyone else on staff, let slide her ignorance and insensitivity to issues of mental health. While it’s true Big Pharma has integrity issues, the fact is anti-depressant medications and other psychopharmaceuticals dramatically improve, if not save, the lives of many, many people.

Be sure to read the many comments on both pages. It's a serious subject matter that affects many people.