How to Beat the Holiday Blues

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Thanksgiving is the first of the triple threat (Christmas and New Year's complete the trifecta) that can make you sing the holiday blues... If you are like me making "happy happy" during this time can actually be a real downer. If there are family conflicts (who doesn't?) the obligatory joy and gladness can seem like one big fat cruel joke. In addition, if you are struggling with relationships, work, money or going through a significant life-changing event (breakup, divorce, death of a loved one) you feel you want to skip the festivities. However, non-participation may not be an option. And for others the possibility of spending any of these holiday without family and friends can them into a dark and lonely place.

Here are some tips for avoiding emotional fallout this holiday season. 

1. Recognize physical symptoms of depression and anxiety. Emotional distress begins in the body. If you feel exhausted and tired look inward to see if it's psychological or physical. Anxiety can manifest as stomach upset, insomnia, irritability or jumpiness. Again, take an inventory. Identifying and understanding physical symptoms is the first step in addressing them. Whether the source is emotional or physical, you can do something about them.

2. Ask yourself what the symptoms mean. If they are physical, slow down, rest, change your diet etc... If they are psychological in origin ask yourself what are these feelings and what do they mean? Are you trying to suppress or ignore feelings of guilt, obligation, resentment and anger, or any other negative emotion?

3. Be kind to yourself and others. If you don't feel well and cranky maybe going to a holiday party isn't the best idea as it may make you feel worse. Sitting out a party or a gathering can be the kinder thing for yourself and for others; you are sparing negative energy from people you love and like. Listen to your inner voice even if it's saying something out of the ordinary.

4. Talk it out with your therapist, friends and family (not at the party or the dinner). Engage, reach out and share your feelings. If other people aren't available, talk to yourself by writing it out in a journal.

5. Go easy with food and drink. Alcohol will certainly amplify whatever you are feeling and overindulging will actually worsen symptoms of anxiety and depression and decrease the quality of sleep. As for food, gaining extra weight is much easier and more fun than losing it, so practice moderation.

6. Get your sleep and exercise. Enough said.

7. Be proactive. If you know you are going to be alone research and plan ahead activities. Do you have books, movies and activities to keep you occupied? Reach out to others who may be also be in the same boat.

8. Lower your expectations, or at least make realistic your expectations of the holiday season. Norman Rockwell's version of American holiday experience is aspirational at best. 

9. Create your own rituals even if it's just for this year. Maybe Santa Claus will no longer be welcomed in your home. Rather than receiving maybe Christmas is just about giving nonmaterial things. Go ahead and create your own activities based on YOUR values.

10. Be mindful. Holidays come around once a year and for some it is a season of fun and celebration. Acknowledge their right as your own. Also, be mindful that, thank god, they come around just once a year and this too shall pass. 

Iguala, Mexico and the Casual American Drug User

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Iguala is a city of about 100,000 people southwest of Mexico City, a city at the center of national and international attention after 43 students went missing. Students were from a rural Mexican teacher's college, and they are are presumed dead — murdered — their remains burned and buried.

In Mexico thousands have marched in protest to express their anger and outrage. Some protesters went far as even torching the national palace in Mexico City to bring attention to government officials who are ineffectual at best and at their worst who collude with the narco traffickers, who are certainly behind this massacre. Mexicans are fed up. After years of drug war and brutal murders of thousands, this case sparked a national outrage, and rightfully so.

Narco traffickers is the general term to assigned to large, powerful drug cartels who fight among themselves for territory and control of drugs flowing from South America and Mexico to the United States. Without our staggering demand for illegal drugs these gangs would not be in existence, or they would not be as powerful. Profits are so vast they can buy politicians and the police, locally and nationally to protect their interests and operate without impunity.

How and why does this relate to my work? Americans spend about 500 billion dollars annually on cocaine, heroin, marijuana and meth. It is a staggering amount of money and most of the product travels through Mexico. Cocaine is produced further south Colombia, Peru and Bolivia. Heroin poppies are cultivated in Mexico as is marijuana. Mexico by its location serves as the funnel for drugs entering the country. Obviously we have a great appetite for drugs in America. And I've always made it clear that I advocate for personal choice when it comes to drug use.

Unlike other consumer goods the street drug buyers do nots have choice when it comes to the source of the supply. It is strictly a supplier's game. Cocaine and heroin are not labeled with their countries of origin or provenance. There is no Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) for drugs, or ethical cocaine and heroin, unlike, say, diamonds or chocolates.

I think one of the reasons why marijuana is being legalized in the US at a quickened pace is to decrease the amount trafficked from Mexico.

Am I saying casual drug users are somehow implicated in this? Maybe.

What I am saying is we cannot take street drugs from the larger global context. The money we spend on it may be supporting crime and even terrorist organizations. If you are going to boycott Walmart, GMO foods and blood diamonds, shouldn't you do the same with your weekend supply of recreational drugs?

16 Danger Signs of Relapse

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This list is from an excellent Facebook post. Even though the list seems it's from AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) for AA members, I think we can all benefit from this list even if we are not struggling with a severe addiction. I feel addicted can also mean we compulsively repeat certain patterns of behavior based on a set of beliefs, which can hold us back from growth.

For those of you who say you are "allergic" to the AA model,  go ahead and read the list and replace AA, sponsor, meetings with family, friend, get together, etc...

Relapse can mean returning to an old behavior which you attempted to change or correct. Or it can mean actual addiction to alcohol and drugs.

Basically, be present and be mindful of what's going on in yourself.

DANGER SIGNS OF RELAPSE

1. Exhaustion — Allowing oneself to become overly tired; usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.

2. Dishonesty — Begins with pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.

3. Impatience — I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right. Instant gratification is a monster that needs to be tamed.

4. Argumentativeness — No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.

5. Depression  — All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?

6. Frustration  — Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. Lack of acceptance. See #3. Being a baby.

7. Self-pity — Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated, disrespected: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.

8. Cockiness — Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang-out at bars, boozy parties or an other potentially complicated setting where the addiction monster may get tempted.

9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, meetings, contact with other(s) alcoholics, (especially sponsor!), feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!

10. Expecting too much of others — Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.

11. Letting up on disciplines — Allowing established habits of recovery - meditations, prayer, spiritual reading, emotional support system or AA contact, daily inventory, meetings or getting together with a pal — to slip out of our routines; allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?!

12. Using mood-altering chemicals — May have a valid medical reason, but misused to help avoid the real problems of impending alcoholic, drug or a behavioral addiction relapse.

13. Wanting too much — Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.

14. Forgetting gratitude — Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives: too focused on # 13.

15. "It can't happen to me." — Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the disease of addiction, including alcoholism and its progressive nature.

16. Omnipotence — A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members or emotional support network.

Swedish Therapy Cabs: Therapy on the Go

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Sweden has the highest number of one-person households in the EU — 47% of Swedish households are comprised of persons living alone. Living alone can increase loneliness and other symptoms of depression especially during long Swedish winters where there is very little daylight.

In an attempt to introduce therapy to riders who may be experiencing depression and/or other issues, Taxi Stockholm, a private taxi service, has hired three therapists to provide counseling in the back seat of its taxis to passengers. The idea is to normalize therapy and even help passenger/client with a pressing issue. No matter how short the ride, bringing therapy to the rider can expose and normalize the idea of therapy so they are more likely to seek it out themselves after they leave the taxi.

What a great idea! I am all for it — especially in large cities where personal connections are difficult to make and maintain and time is short. This could be one very clever idea to destigmatize therapy for the general public.

Watch Now! Russell Brand: From Addiction to Recovery

Russell Brand is one celebrity who is pretty cool. This isn't the first time I've written about him. I can respect him because he uses his fame to bring attention to the problem of addiction and benefits of meditation and yoga.

So I was happy to discover that after Amy Winehouse’s death from alcohol withdrawal, Brand made a short documentary with BBC about addiction and recovery. And The Guardian published a moving eulogy he wrote for her.

Discovering this short doc (about an hour long) several years late does not diminish its significance. Brand discusses with experts about opiate replacement therapy. At times, he can be overbearing and appears fixated on his recovery process. However, Brand’s narcissism is tolerable, because he argues that for addicts like himself it's abstinence or death.

He argues against methadone saying it’s an opiate replacing heroin, which means that the addict is not drug free, and an addict wiI am certain he would criticize Suboxone since it too is a synthetic opiate prescribed to curb cravings and withdrawal symptoms, just like methadone. The difference is that Suboxone is prescribed by a psychiatrist, as opposed to daily pick ups at a methadone clinic, so it no longer carries the stigma of having to drop in every morning at your local MMTP (Methadone Maintenance Treatment Program).

An addict, Brand stresses, must be free of all drugs, although whether he includes psychotropic medications, it’s unclear. Both AA and NA agree with Brand; and they consider prescription medications as drugs. Therefore, an AA member who is prescribed medication, for say depression and anxiety, is not drug free or abstinent. I find problem with this, because so many people struggling with substance abuse suffer from underlying mental illness. 

What are your thoughts?