16 Danger Signs of Relapse

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This list is from an excellent Facebook post. Even though the list seems it's from AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) for AA members, I think we can all benefit from this list even if we are not struggling with a severe addiction. I feel addicted can also mean we compulsively repeat certain patterns of behavior based on a set of beliefs, which can hold us back from growth.

For those of you who say you are "allergic" to the AA model,  go ahead and read the list and replace AA, sponsor, meetings with family, friend, get together, etc...

Relapse can mean returning to an old behavior which you attempted to change or correct. Or it can mean actual addiction to alcohol and drugs.

Basically, be present and be mindful of what's going on in yourself.

DANGER SIGNS OF RELAPSE

1. Exhaustion — Allowing oneself to become overly tired; usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.

2. Dishonesty — Begins with pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.

3. Impatience — I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right. Instant gratification is a monster that needs to be tamed.

4. Argumentativeness — No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.

5. Depression  — All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?

6. Frustration  — Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. Lack of acceptance. See #3. Being a baby.

7. Self-pity — Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated, disrespected: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.

8. Cockiness — Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang-out at bars, boozy parties or an other potentially complicated setting where the addiction monster may get tempted.

9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, meetings, contact with other(s) alcoholics, (especially sponsor!), feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!

10. Expecting too much of others — Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.

11. Letting up on disciplines — Allowing established habits of recovery - meditations, prayer, spiritual reading, emotional support system or AA contact, daily inventory, meetings or getting together with a pal — to slip out of our routines; allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?!

12. Using mood-altering chemicals — May have a valid medical reason, but misused to help avoid the real problems of impending alcoholic, drug or a behavioral addiction relapse.

13. Wanting too much — Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.

14. Forgetting gratitude — Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives: too focused on # 13.

15. "It can't happen to me." — Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the disease of addiction, including alcoholism and its progressive nature.

16. Omnipotence — A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members or emotional support network.

Russell Brand on the Seduction of Addiction

Russell Brand speaks with Oprah about why HE CAN'T EVER DRINK OR USE DRUGS AGAIN.

Addiction Is a Chronically Relapsing Disease: Philip Seymour Hoffman Part 2

There isn't much I can add to the very sad story. As more details emerge, the more depressing it becomes.

Addiction kills. Relapse is a boogeyman who stalks his prey, always looking for a crack in the armor. PSH's long-term partner left him and took their three children with her. It's not clear if she left because he relapsed or the separation caused the relapse. It's easy to get drawn into this sensational story, but I will leave those details for others.

But I do like this piece from the Slate.com about relapses and why they are to be feared.

Philip Seymour Hoffman's Overdose

It's the latest story of a very successful artist dying from addiction. I didn't say celebrity because he didn't strike me as such. A celebrity is someone famous who is compelled by fame to continue his or her work. I once saw him in Othello that had been readapted by a living playwright and staged at NYU. I found it unbearably pretentious and long, but then again everyone hated it including all the critics. Still, even as an unsophisticated theater viewer I felt his amazing stage presence; it was clear he was an artist, a very serious artist. 

Studies have linked creativity to susceptibility to mental illness. And the connection between mental illness and addiction is undeniable. “Mental illnesses can lead to drug abuse. Individuals with overt, mild, or even subclinical mental disorders may abuse drugs as a form of self-medication,” according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse — addiction is a mental illness. The problem is that drugs, especially opiates are extremely addictive (psychologically and physically) and the possibility of overdose increases as tolerance builds — the longer you use you need a bigger dose of the drug to for the same level of euphoria. 

What's more troubling is that when a recovering opiate addict relapses, they face a greater risk for overdose. It's because physical tolerance decreases during recovery, but the psychological craving for the drug persists. 

Sadly, the often-quoted AA/NA mantras "one day at a time" and "once an addict, always an addict" ring too true.

There are tons of interviews and articles about PSH talking about acting and his struggle with addiction. After attending NYU as an undergraduate, he went to rehab and was sober for 23 years. This past year he publicly admitted to relapsing on painkillers that led to sniffing heroin. He then went into a drug treatment program for ten days, which really means he detoxed from opiates for ten days. 

Why did PSH only spend ten days in "treatment"? If he did get treated in a proper rehab program (28 days or longer), would I be writing about him along with so many others?

Relapsing after 23 years of sobriety, he does "rehab" for ten days. And less than a year later he is found dead in a luxurious bathroom with a needle his arm, in his underwear, next to baggies of heroin. 

Of all the great movies he's been in, I remembered Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, a dark comedy (the internet says a thriller) about a very anxious man, his dysfunctional family and the desperate measures he takes to escape his life. PSH plays the man who plans to "rob" his parent's jewelry store with the help of his useless brother. Things go wrong, and his situation worsens. And behind all his trouble is his addiction to heroin. Near the end of the movie, we find him in a luxury apartment, no ordinary shooting gallery. He makes his purchase, shoots up and is left alone to nod off on very expensive furniture.