Why AA Isn't Hip

Some of my clients are young problem drinkers whose alcohol abuse is severe enough to warrant their own concern. They come to me and other psychotherapists with the hope that they can gain control over their drinking habit which seems to be winning. Addicts they are not, they say, it’s just a matter of learning why they drink so much and to reassess their priorities and values. The objective is to no longer feel as if they are controlled by alcohol. Most are above average in intelligence with a promising future in one of the creative professions. Before seeking therapy, they have tried to stop drinking on their own and/or have gone to Alcoholics Anonymous for support, some repeatedly. Most of these clients stop going to AA for several reasons.Many complain that the atmosphere is depressing and off-putting. They feel they have little or no common with the majority of other AA members, besides alcohol. To them the typical AA goer is a wizened old timer who appears to have no other options other than to stop drinking entirely and attend AA meetings round the clock. Unlike them, my clients feel they still have options, and they feel they can re-learn to drink moderately, after a period of abstinence. 

I would like to address that sentiment with the following:

It's true that many people in AA are older and even just plain old. AA was originally intended for serious alcoholics who had bottomed out over and over again, meaning nothing else helped them to stop drinking. AA worked because it was a refuge, a place of last resort. It accepted them for who they are, and they found community. 

AA is still around because it does help serious alcoholics recover from active alcoholism and maintain sobriety through community. One reason why you see more older people is that older addicts are more likely to abstain for reasons that are connected to poor health resulting from years of sustained abuse. They may die if they continue to drink, and so they NEED the AA community to not drink again. Also, dealing with or avoiding consequences of addiction is exhausting, and older addicts are emotionally and mentally TIRED from running.

Having said that, it does not mean there is no place for younger people in AA. Which reminds me, there is a great independent feature that deals with this: it's called Smashed.

The role of AA for problem drinkers will be continued...

The Examined Life

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed,
and some few to be chewed and digested.
Francis Bacon, the philosopher, not the painter.

Sometimes a book can come along and make your life better. Reading it feels as though it was meant to enter your life at that exact time.
And isn’t this why we have a life-long love affair with books?

Books can help us answer questions we haven’t yet to formulate. At their best, they rouse us to carry on an inner dialogue and deepen our self-awareness. And awareness is the first step in the process of change.
Yes, change is possible. It’s a slow-going, subtle shifting of your attitude, first to your self, and, over time, it will manifest outwardly in your interactions with the world.

Stephen Grosz’s The Examined Life is one such book. Grosz is an American psychoanalyst based in London. I love this book because the writing is superb; language is simple and precise, without psychological jargons to showcase the author’s expertise. He writes for an audience interested in living a deeper, more authentic life (don’t we all?). Though I am not a book reviewer, if you are interested the literati love his book!

My clinician self found important lessons in how to be a better therapist, both in technique and in philosophy. And as a general reader, I very much appreciate the clinical cases he presents, because I identify with many of the enduring “issues” that had brought people to his office. Some of these universal themes are: the search for and keeping of loving relationships, forgiveness, resolving the hurts from our imperfect childhoods, loneliness, sexuality, raising children, facing death.

If there were to be a syllabus for therapy The Examined Life would be a required reading. 

Quick note about psychoanalysis: It is a type of psychotherapy I DO NOT practice. However, I hope to start training in it in the near future. Its aim is to affect or change the personality structure of the client over an unspecified period of time. Usually a client brings in a complaint of a non-urgent nature, something that nags her but does not interfere with her overall functioning. Free association is the primary technique used in analysis; it means that the client is encouraged to think out loud, to say whatever comes to her mind. The analyst then interprets what was said, noting patterns or other significant content to which the client was unaware. There is little advice giving, and progress or insights are made by the client on their own.

The work I do is more hands on and goal directed. The issues I deal with tend to exist on the surface of day-to-day life, whereas psychoanalysis deals with issues that are more deeply imbedded.

How to Drink Moderately

These are some suggestions that I use with my clients.
By no means is the list complete. 

• Eat something before getting to the bar or party.

• Have a plan for the evening: How long will you stay?
Who are you going to be with?
Know when you will be home.
Goal is to avoid open-ended nights.

• Limit yourself to only one drink within a 30-minute period.

• Limit yourself to 4 drinks for men and 3 for women and the weekly maximum of 14 for men and 9 for women as recommended by the National Institute of Health for moderate-risk drinking.

• Know what a “drink” is. Remember, a pint is 16 ounces.
Drinks you have with dinner also count. 

• 12 fluid ounces of beer (about 5% alcohol)
• 8 to 9 fluid ounces of malt liquor (about 7% alcohol)
• 5 fluid ounces of table wine (about 12% alcohol)
• 1.5 fluid ounces of hard liquor (about 40% alcohol)

• Keep in mind BAC (BloodAlcohol Content) and think about why it’s important. Maintaining a BAC lower than .06%* is crucial to moderate drinking because our ability to reason becomes impaired at this point. It is the point of no return for problem drinkers. Even if the intention is to limit alcohol intake, if the BAC is higher than .06% you are more likely to continue drinking. Binge drinking is defined as having a BAC of .08% or higher.
*Disclaimer: these recommendations are for people who don't plan on driving a car. Remember, riding a bike under the influence is dangerous and against the law.
Drivers, please consult regulations for your state.

• Alternate between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.

• Drink water in between drinks.

• Nosh on snacks while drinking. 

• Tell others, friends and acquaintances, of your intention to drink moderately, if you feel they would be supportive.

• Ask yourself what is the primary goal of the event? Is it social
or just for alcohol consumption? If it’s the latter, rethink who you are hanging out with. 

• Plan activities that don’t automatically involve alcohol.
Be creative.

• If you always drank at a certain time, for example after work, have a plan in place for those off nights. Go to the gym, go for a run or plan an outdoor activity. Go to the movies. 

• Remind yourself of the reasons why you want to drink moderately. For example, the hangover next day; money spent on drinks, cabs and food; the pride in knowing that you can practice self control.

• Practice mindfulness with alcohol. Is your goal to enjoy the taste of that IPA or red wine? How does it taste? What is its texture? Describe what you observe about your experience of drinking
and the people around you.

• Notice how alcohol affects people differently. How do you think alcohol affects you?

• Write in your journal about the experience. 

• Remind yourself that it gets easier the more you practice it.

• List the benefits of moderate drinking in the same journal.

• Know how alcohol interacts with the medications (over the counter or prescription) you take. Often, medications amplify the effects of alcohol, so let that be the guide in what moderate drinking looks like for you.

If you have other ideas, add them below.

Who Are These Alcoholics?

Google “alcoholic pictures” and you will find that an alcoholic tends to be an unhappy adult white male who sits in the dark with his head in his hands. He is alone and depressed with only a bottle for company.




An alcoholic, defined clinically, is someone physically dependent on (addicted to) alcohol and unable to control how much they drink; alcoholic also has cravings and increased tolerance, and goes through withdrawal symptoms when alcohol leaves their system. Comparatively, a problem drinker, or an alcohol abuser, is someone psychologically dependent on alcohol but without the physical dependence (although a hang over is a collection of moderate withdrawal symptoms). For the problem drinker, the issue isn’t alcohol (because they can go without) but the reasons why they drink and what happens after they drink.

National Institute of Health and National Institute of Alcohol and Alcohol Abuse classified U.S. alcoholics into five subtypes. These results are from a 2007 national survey, and it is estimated 14 million Americans qualify as alcoholics.

Young Adult subtype: largest group in the U.S. with 31.5 percent of alcoholics. Low rate of mental illness, drug abuse and history alcoholism in their families. Least likely to seek out help.

Young Antisocial subtype: In their mind-twenties, 21 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Early onset of alcohol use and problems related to alcohol abuse. More than half from families with alcoholics. About half are diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder. Many suffer from the trinity of mental illness (depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety problems). More than 75 percent smoke cigarettes and marijuana, and many have problems with cocaine and opiates. More than a third seek help.

Functional subtype: 19.5 percent of alcoholics. They are mostly middle-aged, well-educated, with stable jobs and families. Third have alcoholism in their family histories, a quarter had major depression at some point in their lives, and nearly half were smokers of tobacco.

Intermediate Familial subtype: 19 percent of American alcoholics, they are middle-aged and half withs familial history of alcoholism. Most smoked, half of them had clinical depression, and 20% have had bipolar disorder. Nearly 20% had problems with cocaine and marijuana. In this group only a quarter get treated.

Chronic subtype: 9 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Middle-aged; began drinking heavily at an early age. High rates of Antisocial Personality Disorder and criminality. Highest rate of mental illness (depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder). High rates of smoking, marijuana, cocaine, and opioid dependence. 2/3 of the group get help (many of them to mandated to treatment making them the most prevalent type found in treatment.


Information, which I summarized here, comes from:

http://www.news-medical.net/news/2007/06/29/27074.aspx?page=2

http://www.alcoholic.org/research/alcoholism-statistics-and-information/

Are you an alcoholic? Find out here. 

In my practice I work to help problem drinkers with their emotional health, in addition to learning how to become a more mindful, moderate drinker.