16 Danger Signs of Relapse

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This list is from an excellent Facebook post. Even though the list seems it's from AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) for AA members, I think we can all benefit from this list even if we are not struggling with a severe addiction. I feel addicted can also mean we compulsively repeat certain patterns of behavior based on a set of beliefs, which can hold us back from growth.

For those of you who say you are "allergic" to the AA model,  go ahead and read the list and replace AA, sponsor, meetings with family, friend, get together, etc...

Relapse can mean returning to an old behavior which you attempted to change or correct. Or it can mean actual addiction to alcohol and drugs.

Basically, be present and be mindful of what's going on in yourself.

DANGER SIGNS OF RELAPSE

1. Exhaustion — Allowing oneself to become overly tired; usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.

2. Dishonesty — Begins with pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.

3. Impatience — I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right. Instant gratification is a monster that needs to be tamed.

4. Argumentativeness — No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.

5. Depression  — All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?

6. Frustration  — Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. Lack of acceptance. See #3. Being a baby.

7. Self-pity — Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated, disrespected: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.

8. Cockiness — Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang-out at bars, boozy parties or an other potentially complicated setting where the addiction monster may get tempted.

9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, meetings, contact with other(s) alcoholics, (especially sponsor!), feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!

10. Expecting too much of others — Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.

11. Letting up on disciplines — Allowing established habits of recovery - meditations, prayer, spiritual reading, emotional support system or AA contact, daily inventory, meetings or getting together with a pal — to slip out of our routines; allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?!

12. Using mood-altering chemicals — May have a valid medical reason, but misused to help avoid the real problems of impending alcoholic, drug or a behavioral addiction relapse.

13. Wanting too much — Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.

14. Forgetting gratitude — Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives: too focused on # 13.

15. "It can't happen to me." — Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the disease of addiction, including alcoholism and its progressive nature.

16. Omnipotence — A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members or emotional support network.

Newest Eating Disorder: Orthorexia

http://www.choosingraw.com/neda-week-2014-considering-orthorexia/

Do you or do you know someone who adheres to a self-imposed dietary restriction that make going out for a simple meal a major headache? Do they sometimes go to the extreme of not eating because the food doesn't pass the "clean" test? Does a simple trip to the supermarket turn into a time consuming and stressful event during which every label must be carefully studied?

We all know vegetarians, rawfood enthusiasts, glutenphobics, pescartarians, freegans or just picky eaters. When does health consciousness become pathological? When does it become an eating disorder?

Eating disorders is primarily a problem of the West though it might be more accurate to say it's a problem in wealthier countries. In no way do I want to minimize the seriousness of eating disorders, a serious medical and mental health issue. But the fact that one in nine people in the world do not consume enough food to sustain a healthy life makes this disease especially poignant. Having an abundance of choices sometimes can be problematic.

Eating disorders (anorexia nervosa and bulimia) can cause amenorrhea, damage to the teeth, and in extreme cases it can even cause death. 

So what exactly is orthorexia? Ortho (straight, rectangular, upright, as in orthodontics and orthopedics) + orexia (desire, appetite). Anorexia = loss of appetite or lack of desire for food. Orthorexia: rigid appetite.

Orthorexia has not been recognized by the DSM, so it is not an official diagnosis, yet. Professionals in the field define orthorexia pathological desire to eat healthily, so much that it interferes with a "normal" life and jeopardizes physical health.

Experts say orthorexia becomes life-threatening when people's food restrictions make it impossible for them to take in enough calories and nutrients to maintain good health. Bell recently treated a 14-year-old girl who ate only raw fruits and vegetables. She dropped to 80 pounds and had to be hospitalized for an irregular heartbeat.

Orthorexia is one example of a healthy enthusiasm that becomes an addictive behavior creating harm and decreasing one's quality of life.

Peaches Geldof: Eating Disorders and Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Peaches Honeyblossom Geldof March 13, 1989-April 7, 2014

Peaches Geldof died the other day. Autopsy results are still pending, but given her family history, many, including myself, are guessing that it's related to drugs and/or eating disorder. She was just 25. Horrifyingly, next to her body was her 11-month old son. When PG's mother died, her half sister, a baby at the time, was also found next to their mother who had overdosed from heroin.

PG had gone off radar, at least for me, for a few years, during which she seemed to have grown up —she had gotten married and became a young mother two young boys. Before this she was primarily known for being an English party girl famous for her druggy antics and her father.

I couldn't help knowing who she was just as I know Paris, Lindsay and Brittney. I've given up being resentful about celebrity culture and accepted that this is the pop culture we deserve; we celebrate the famous for just being famous.

In PG's case she was the daughter of Sir. Geldof. For anyone who came of age in the 80's, his name is difficult not to remember. Her mother, Paula Yates, died from a heroin overdose three years after the "suicide" of Michael Hutchence, the INXS singer, another difficult name to ignore from the same era. And as mentioned earlier, Yates' body was found in bed with her youngest daughter.

I am not interested in focusing on celebrities, but these occasional tragedies provide access points to discuss finer points about the nature of addiction and different forms it can take. Her mother was also diagnosed with an eating disorder (anorexia, bulimia, or dependence on stimulants to lower appetite or misuse of laxatives?), so the issue of "heritability" of addiction can be discussed, not just addiction to alcohol and drugs, but behavioral addictions. And is there a positive correlation between early trauma and addiction later on? (My answer? Duh.) Here is an ominous last interview she gave to The Independent, an English newspaper.

In my work, mostly I deal with addictions to drugs and alcohol. But over the years, I've encountered a few clients with eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). Always, these food-related, self-image centered issues were just one part of a larger cluster of addictive behaviors to drugs, alcohol, sex and self-defeating relationships (both romantic and social), in addition to poor self-esteem and a history of early loss of a parent, divorce, parental neglect, emotional abuse, and sometimes sexual abuse. Working with these clients (I am not an expert in eating disorders, btw) it felt as if one's body was the easiest, most readily controllable target onto which to transfer unprocessed negative feelings and memories, all of which take time and lots difficult work. Rather than looking inward to dig at the source of pain, eating disorders and BDD forces the body, and ultimately the self, to take all the blame.

History of substance addiction in the Geldof clan is well known, and the experience of losing one's mother at a young age to addiction without the privacy that is afforded to ordinary people, would have made any young woman susceptible and fragile to becoming self-conscious.

Ultimately, I feel PG's addiction to drugs and alcohol was replaced with pathological obsession/addiction to her weight and appearance, and partly at fault is the celebrity industrial complex, whatever that is exactly.

My heart goes out to the two young children who've just lost their mother, as well as rest of Peaches' family and friends.