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This list is from an excellent Facebook post. Even though the list seems it's from AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) for AA members, I think we can all benefit from this list even if we are not struggling with a severe addiction. I feel addicted can also mean we compulsively repeat certain patterns of behavior based on a set of beliefs, which can hold us back from growth.
For those of you who say you are "allergic" to the AA model, go ahead and read the list and replace AA, sponsor, meetings with family, friend, get together, etc...
Relapse can mean returning to an old behavior which you attempted to change or correct. Or it can mean actual addiction to alcohol and drugs.
Basically, be present and be mindful of what's going on in yourself.
1. Exhaustion — Allowing oneself to become overly tired; usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.
2. Dishonesty — Begins with pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.
3. Impatience — I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right. Instant gratification is a monster that needs to be tamed.
4. Argumentativeness — No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.
5. Depression — All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?
6. Frustration — Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. Lack of acceptance. See #3. Being a baby.
7. Self-pity — Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated, disrespected: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.
8. Cockiness — Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang-out at bars, boozy parties or an other potentially complicated setting where the addiction monster may get tempted.
9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, meetings, contact with other(s) alcoholics, (especially sponsor!), feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!
10. Expecting too much of others — Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.
11. Letting up on disciplines — Allowing established habits of recovery - meditations, prayer, spiritual reading, emotional support system or AA contact, daily inventory, meetings or getting together with a pal — to slip out of our routines; allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?!
12. Using mood-altering chemicals — May have a valid medical reason, but misused to help avoid the real problems of impending alcoholic, drug or a behavioral addiction relapse.
13. Wanting too much — Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.
14. Forgetting gratitude — Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives: too focused on # 13.
15. "It can't happen to me." — Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the disease of addiction, including alcoholism and its progressive nature.
16. Omnipotence — A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members or emotional support network.
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